11 TLMs, books, Dutch stuff & ordinations!

Alrighty... It's about time I posted properly... So you'll now have the pleasure of "listening" to me ramble on about what I've been up to over the last wee while!

Okay, so, about a week and a half ago, I had the pleasure of attending the TLM in St Audoen's Church in Dublin, where the Lassus Scholars and Piccolo Lasso sang Mozart's Coronation Mass. Great stuff altogether... It was really beautiful, and it didn't feel at all like just a performance or anything like that... A little piece of heaven. :-)

Oh! And I couldn't possibly let the opportunity pass without mentioning that the day before I was in probably the best bookshop in Ireland... Though I will have to go back again, as it was the wrong side of payday and so I had to resist the incredible temptation to buy, well, practically everything in sight... sigh...

I'm so proud of myself, that I actually did manage to leave the shop without buying anything... (we'll just not talk about the books I bought in the other bookshops that day...)

Then, this past weekend, I was in Holland, visiting a good friend of mine (who never updates her blog, but we'll forgive her!) in Aarle-Rixtel, a wee village in the south of Holland. Anyway, we had a great time chilling out, catching up, saying a wee prayer (or three) in the "Mariakapel", watching some great movies, and came home with a suitcase full of stroopwafels (which, for the most part, have already been demolished by the lads in work), speculaas, and hopjes (yaay! hopjes!) and have had to leave the poffertjes for my next visit (though to pacify me, I have had promises of waffles when I visit Norway next month)... Of course, I have unfortunately been denied the opportunity to have any of these yet, having stupidly booked a dentist appointment for a root canal yesterday morning... In hindsight, not one of my cleverest moves, considering the ridiculously late night thanks to delayed flights. (And flights! I will not even START on those! And the obscene price I paid for a bottle of WATER on my way home!!!)

Anyway. While I was away, there was something very important happening back in Ireland... (Well, apart from Fr Owen celebrating 5 years as a priest!) Yep, at the weekend, Deacon John Egan became FATHER John Egan!

Carole has written more about that over on her blog, if you're interested.

We have another ordination coming up this weekend, too... Deacon Philip Kemmy... if you could maybe keep him in your prayers. :-)

Anyway... I'll shut up now before I bore you all to tears... ;-)


P.S. I really wish I hadn't forgotten the majority of my HTML programming from uni... Tis really frustrating when the formatting won't behave itself! :-(
P.P.S. Mind you, I'm probably the only person who'd be annoyed by such things...
P.P.P.S Not to mention the fact that my blog has, what, three readers?!
P.P.P.P.S I really am going to stop with the P.S.'s now...
P.P.P.P.P.S Or maybe now!

3 While I've been threatening to find the time...

... to post another "proper" post one of these days, I couldn't resist sharing this joke I got in an email today...

A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighbourhood.

She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, "How much will you charge me?"

The blonde quickly responded, "How about £50?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need was in the garage.

The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?"

He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"

The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

You're finished already?" the husband asked.

"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the £50.00 and handed it to her.

"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus"

11 Bork bork bork

In order to congratulate Joakim on becoming a Catholic, I was going to make banana(nanana) split, or some cake, or even some "chocolate moose"... But seeing as I can't cook to save my life, I thought I'd settle for some coffee...



Congratulations, Joakim!

3 Semi serious post, for a change...

Well, Wednesday past was the first anniversary of my aunt's death. A strange old day, altogether... It's very hard to believe that it's been a whole year since Kathleen passed away -- in many ways it has been the fastest year EVER! Of course it's got me thinking of all the things that have happened in the last year... I'm in a very different place now from where I was 12 months ago... (although I've only moved 5 minutes round the corner, hehe!)

For starters, I'm almost 3 stone lighter, as I've managed to tackle some of the hangups I've had about my weight since, well, forever... Quit smoking, which I have been putting off doing forever... Then there's the swimming lessons, which have helped get rid of -- or at least lessen -- that phobia of water that hand been hanging around since, well, forever! As far as faith is concerned, a year ago, I don't think I'd even heard of the Tridentine Mass, let alone actually BEEN to one... let alone purchased the oh-so-wonderful "Baronius Missile", or even thought about driving in the not-quite-Dublin-city-centre... and, well, I could go on about some of the other wonderful things that have happened, but you get the point... ;-)

But over the last year, when things have happened, I've always felt a little sad that Kathleen wasn't here to see them - to see me fit into her really cool purple cords (which are now actually getting too big), or looking smashing at the Youth 2000 ball, wearing her jewellery and all dressed up and looking girly for a change, with not a baggy t-shirt in sight! (Though I do think she may have disapproved ever so slightly at my change of footwear halfway through the evening... from "nice girly heels" to much more comfy trainers... but hey, at least they matched the dress...) At the same time, I wonder would any of these things happened had Kathleen not died? She must be putting in a good word for me or something....

And how much has changed since this photo was taken of her with her little sister...

Many times throughout the last year I have had cause to think about one of the lines from one of the Prefaces for Lent... "You teach us to live in this passing world with our hearts set on the world that will never end..."

It also reminds me of a great prayer I have discovered recently, about Complete Trust in God...

Do not look forward to the changes and chances of this life with fear. Rather, look to them with full confidence that, as they arise, God to whom you belong will in His love enable you to profit by them. He has guided you thus far in life.

Do you but hold fast to His dear hand, and He will lead you safely through all trials. Whenever you cannot stand, He will carry you lovingly in His arms. Do not look forward to what may happen tomorrow. The same Eternal Father who takes care of you today will take care of you tomorrow, and every day of your life. Either He will shield you from suffering or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it.

Be at peace then, and put aside all useless thoughts, all vain dreads and all anxious imaginations.

~ Saint Francis de Sales

3 My abseil

Well, I just did that abseil on Saturday, for Marie Curie Cancer Care, down the amazingly scary 205ft building that is the BT Tower...!! Two words.... SCARY BICCIES!!!!!

(I was going to say, ah no, it wasn't really THAT bad... but... well... actually... ummm... yeah... I'll maybe shut up now.....!)

Anyway, I posted about it over on DCF, and included some photos that were emailed to me today by my brother... I should be getting one sent to me in the next week or two, that was taken from the top, so I will be sure to pass that on once it arrives.

Of course, it was amazing having all the support on the day of some great people who came to watch, but thanks to all of you who sponsored me (both online and off), for helping me raise money for such a great charity, and in memory of such a great woman.

Kathleen... Rest in Peace



13th May 1950 - 6th June 2006

3 Okay, so, apparently I'm Catholic...

... Didn't see THAT one coming....!

~~~~~

You scored as Roman Catholic, You are Roman Catholic. Church tradition and ecclesial authority are hugely important, and the most important part of worship for you is mass. As the Mother of God, Mary is important in your theology, and as the communion of saints includes the living and the dead, you can also ask the saints to intercede for you. Roman Catholic 100% Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 75% Neo orthodox 71% Emergent/Postmodern 57% Classical Liberal 39% Charismatic/Pentecostal 29% Modern Liberal 25% Reformed Evangelical 21% Fundamentalist 18% What's your theological worldview? created with QuizFarm.com

11 Another meme...

Seemingly, Joakim doesn't want me to do ANY work this week whatsoever, as he's tagged me again, this time for my top 10 favourite movies, and 21 words to describe me... Oh dear!

Again, guaranteed that I'll leave some out and have to resist going back and editing it... but hey...

Ten favourite movies (in no particular order):

1. The Da Vinci Code (JOKE, people! JOKE!!!!)

Ok, no, seriously!

1. Monty Python & The Holy Grail (like that was such a huge surprise!)
2. Beaches (hey, I'm a girl! It's allowed!)
3. Stand by Me (see previous comment)
4. Running on Empty (see previous comment)
5. The Odd Couple (absolutely hysterically funny)
6. Shrek (plus a lot of other movies along the same lines -- Ice Age 1 & 2, Wallace & Gromit - all except the last one, Chicken Run, etc etc... Is it cheating, putting them all together under one number?!)
7. The Shawshank Redemption
8. Life Is Beautiful
9. Patch Adams
10. Waking Ned

Hmmm. I could go on and on and mention Braveheart, Into the West, etc etc, but I suppose I'd better stop at 10!


21 words to describe me:

Right. Now, this is a lot more difficult...
Actually.... Can I take a raincheck on that one?! My mind's gone a-blank and I have to actually get some work done today! :)

~~~~

So, I'll tag DANA (yoo hoo! Dana! You got tagged!!!!), Therese (once she gets her ISP sorted out), and Éamonn (once he gets back from Chartres, of course)....

5 Brave Sir Robin ran away (bravely ran away, away)...

Was just randomly thinking about this at lunchtime, so thought I'd share...

9 Three book meme...

Okay, I've been tagged by Joakim for book recommendations... Hmmmmm... I love books, and do read an awful lot, but am pretty much taking a mental blank when it comes to actually picking some to put down... But I'll give it a whirl!

1. Three non-fiction books everyone should read:
Well, I know you'll probably all expect me to put down the Bible, or the Catechism of the Catholic Church, or Morning and Evening Prayer from the Divine Office.... So I'll try to resist that......

However, for the non-fiction category, I guess my choices are still going to be pretty Catholic... I'll go for With Us Today by Fr John Hardon, The Kiss from the Cross by Ronda Chervin, and Theology of the Body for Beginners by Christopher West.


2. Three works of fiction that everyone should read:
Lord of the Rings, The Chronicles of Narnia, and The Screwtape Letters (the last of which I haven't actually read yet, as such, but have cried with laughter, listening to the audio book, narrated by John Cleese!)


3. Three authors everyone should read:
Although, it's almost impossible to pick only three... I'll stick down my favourite "park-your-brain" fiction authors... I would tend to read stuff by Jodi Picoult, James Patterson, Elizabeth Flock, that kind of thing... Really, they're the kind of books where I can't even really remember what it is even ABOUT afterwards, but they're great for just chilling out, where you can get so engrossed in the story for an evening or two, but just switch off at the same time...


4. Three books that nobody should read:
Oh, don't even START me on THAT topic!!! Grr!! Grr!! Grr!!


.... And then a couple of honourable mentions I thought I'd add in...
I really DO feel the urge to mention two books that I got as a Christmas present from my lovely housemate this past Christmas!!! Firstly, there's Saints Behaving Badly, which is a GREAT book, showing that there's hope for us yet, hehe! Then there's The Incredible Book of Vatican Facts and Papal Curiosities, which is a pretty amusing book with all sorts of Catholic trivia.


All great books, but I'm sure once I start thinking about this, I'll want to go back and edit this post to add a whole bunch more!!!

Right, I'm going to tag Éamonn, Margreet (who hasn't updated her blog in FOREVER, so needs an excuse to do so!), and Mr-DCF-Book-Recommender-Extraordinaire, DAN... but seeing as Dan doesn't have a blog, he'll either just have to start one, or leave his in a comment here!!! Ah go on! Ye will, ye will, ye will!!!

4 Former EpiscoPUSalian gets CATechised....

Pus enjoying some light bedtime reading...

Ah, the fun we get up to in our house!!

6 Dog watching

Apparently our cat has taken to chasing dogs lately...



... this is her doing a spot of dog watching.

4 It's in God's hands

I was looking for something today, and came across this, which I wrote around this time ten years ago... And I was just thinking how true it is... It would certainly do no harm to remember He's got it all sorted, even if things don't seem to be making any sense sometimes.

It's In God's Hands

Strong and powerful, yet able to comfort
And hold tenderly. The same hands that
Created the tiny daisies and soaring eagles
Are also able to carry the weight of the world.

The one who has already planned our road ahead
Doesn't expect us to travel on our own.
On the contrary, our lives are in His hands.
Only He is in control of our destiny.

"We place our destiny in the hands of the LORD, not in the hands of men, because His mercy is as great as His majesty." (Sirach 2:18)

0 Caption Contest!

Spotted this on another blog and thought it was rather good....



As for captions, my personal favourites are:

"I once consecrated a Host thiiis big..."

"The…....hills are aliiiiiiive….. "

"He's gott da whole vorld in hiss hands.... he's gott da whole vorld in his haaands....."

... and let's not forget...



"A-le-ehhhhh-ehhy-loo-oooh-oooooh-ia!" (think Easter week...)




Any more to add?? Leave a wee comment.... :o)

4 T-shirts I really must buy...

Spotted a couple of t-shirts that I really am going to have to invest in...




And then my new personal favourite (despite the spelling mistake, hehe)....



These, and a whole bunch of others can be found over in Cafe Press...

3 Rónán Johnston - Songs of Consolation

I've just ordered my copy of Rónán Johnston's new album, Songs of Consolation, and can't wait for it to arrive. I've liked Rónán's music since I got my first Emmaus album, Come To Me, back in 1994. Emmaus' music has definitely been hugely influential in my life, as have the members of the band and community.

So anyway, I just ordered the CD and got a response within 10 minutes telling me it's all packed up and ready to go! Talk about service, hehe! Will let you know the verdict in a few days once I get a listen, but as usual when it comes to Rónán, I don't expect it to be anything less than fantastic.

You can buy it on his site at http://www.rojomusic.com

2 Easter in Jerusalem

A friend of mine, Fr T, is currently out in Jerusalem. He sent some of us this email today, describing his experiences.

Dear all,
In the absence of photos, I decided to send around a bit of circular letter here to let people know what things are like in Israel at Easter. Two of my friends, after their visit to the Holy Land in September 2005, said that the great challenge would be to not talk about it too much. So, here goes the challenge.

Easter here begins with Palm Sunday and all the Christian (i.e. Catholic) groups in the city gather in Bethphage. The geography of the city is basically that the Old City is up on the hill and next to it, facing the old Temple Mount (now the Dome of the Rock mosque) is the Kedron Valley (Jn 18:1 Remember that all hills, by definition, need valleys). Across the Kedron valley is the Mount of Olives and at the top of the Mount of Olives, just over the top of the hill is Bethphage (Mt 21:1).

The procession begins just in front of the Franciscan parish church. The Franciscans, custodians of the Catholic Holy Places in Israel, do a superb job and one thing they have done is construct apartments on the grounds of their church in Bethphage to try and encourage the dwindling Christian population to stay here, despite the difficulties of life between their Muslim neighbours and Jewish state. One of the great things about Palm Sunday is that it gives the native Christians here a day out to show off their identity with pride. Some of them come down from Galilee and some from Egypt for the day.

Exactly as for the entrance of Jesus nearly 2000 years ago, the Palm Sunday procession is still politically charged. Still, each group has brought their music and their guitars and there is a great procession of music and dancing and the biggest palms I ever did see, all the way up again to the top of the Mount of Olives and then down the route that Jesus would have taken the other side, with the Holy City facing you. The Muslims even stood by the roadside, not joining in but enjoying the party atmosphere. Then up in through the Lion Gate to the church of St. Anne, built by the Crusaders next to the "sheep pool" where Jesus cured the cripple in Jn 5. There the Patriarch, Michael Sabbah, gave the address in Arabic and English, appealing to the Palestinian Christians to love their enemies and challenge the oppressor precisely by responding with love. In the context of life here it was quite a powerful speech. Then there was a bit more dancing and then we took off to the Christian Quarter of the Old City (knocking down a dress hanging outside a shop on the way with my palm branch) to see the parade in through the city gate, with the big banner of "Jesus is Alive" or something like that on it. Scouts of French inspiration, playing Scottish bagpipes: very Palestinian!

On Holy Thursday morning a few of us went over to the Upper Room and spent a bit of silent time there reading the account of what was to take place there that evening; after the Mass of the Holy Supper here in the Dominicans, we headed down to Gethsemane, at the foot of the Mount of Olives, and sat in the garden there for a bit of silent prayer while the basilica was packed with people listening to the Passion being read in five or six different languages. Then, about 10.30, we made our way along the path from there that Jesus would have been taken after his arrest, up the Kedron Valley and then up the hill into the city, to the church of St. Peter in Gallicantu (the traditional site of the High Priest's palace, though archaeologists are quite sure now where the real site was, about 200 yards up the hill from it). The path is the same as it would have been for Jesus, but the paving stones are about 200 years after. The top of the path was lit with candles: really beautiful. Of course, it was full of people from all over who had come to meditate on what took place there that Thursday night when Jesus was arrested and hauled up those steps.

On Good Friday morning the smart people got up early and did the Via Crucis at 6 O'clock. Sorry folks, i was too tired after the night before (getting old), so joined a group at 9.30. Unfortunately, so did every other pilgrim. We got to the 2nd station and then had to turn around because of the crowd and invent our own "Via Crucis". For all that, we ended up some 40 metres from Golgotha by 11.30: right place, right time, wrong year. It can make you dizzy to come face to face with the time and place of the crucifixion of the Lord in a way like that. As my friend said, the danger is to speak too much.

Good Friday evening had the most beautiful ceremony, in my opinion. We went to the Holy Sepulchre basilica, which covers both the place of Golgotha and the tomb. The place where Jesus was crucified was originally a quarry, just outside the city walls, disused about 100 years before the crucifixion. A quarry is useful waste ground for digging tobs in the rock: hence Jesus was buried in the same place as he died, almost (Jn 19:41). Of course, having been disused for 100 years it was somewhat overgrown also, hence its desciption as a garden (Jn 21:15). The 4th century basilica of the Holy Sepulchre covers both sites: truly a wonderful place. There was a procession with psalms and antiphons from the Franciscans' sacristy to Golgotha with a crucifix. On Golgotha they remove the nails and crown of thorns from the statue of Christ. Well, I thought it was just an ordinary statue, but when they removed the nails the arms drooped down by his side and they lowered "him" down just as they would have taken someone off the cross. Essentially it was a dramatic re-enaction of the taking down from the cross. I must say, I was struck to the bone by it. Then they took Jesus down the stairs to the anointing stone and anointed the "body" with perfume and spices and then, placing him in a linen shorud, processed on to the tomb and laid him there.Then they distributed the remained of the perfume and spices. It was a really moving ceremony to see it.

On the way home I visited the fifth station on the Via Crucis to thank God on behalf of a German friend who had wanted a prayer said for all the "Simon of Cyrene"s who had helped her in her life. That was a nice prayer to say.

On Saturday the Easter Vigil takes place in the morning: because the timetable between the different Christian denominations (i.e. Greeks, Latins (us) and Armenians) was set in the 1700s it couldn't be changed after the Easter Vigil was moved from morning to night in the 1950s. But...I didn't go. One vigil is enough. Instead I made an attempt to get to the Greek ceremony of the "Sacred Fire" where the Greek Patriarch goes into the tomb of Christ and emerges with fire out of "nowhere" which is then taken around Israel and even to Greece. However, the crowds were unpassable and we were rammed by a group of Russian priests (I joke you not). Then we ended up on the roof of the Holy Sepulchre, which was useless for anything, so off we went home.

In the evening we had the vigil here in St. Stephen's (St. Stephen was buried in the Dominican church until the first Muslim takeover, when his remains were brought to Rome for safety). The fire was the highlight, caught by big winds it was blown a metre in every direction, swinging around as people tried to light the candle from it: a great symbol of the Holy Spirit.

When the Vigil was ended we went off to the Holy Sepulchre again to celebrate with the Lord, reading the Gospel there and singing our Alleluias up and down the street. On Easter Sunday morning we went to the Franciscan church right next to the Upper Room (the Upper Room isn't a church anymore, so can't say Mass there) for a wonderful Easter Mass and then called into the Benedictines to hear the Gregorian chant hymn "Resurrexi" : I am risen and am with you again, Alleluia. You placed your hand on me, Alleluia. How wonderful is this knowledge of you, Alleluia.

It was really easy to feel the delight of the Lord in Jerusalem that day. Last week we went off to Galilee for an archaeological tour. Well, the Lord really chose a beautiful part of the world for his homeland, for sure. Even today it is full of forests and fields and animals and flowers. Our house, owned by the Emmanuel Community, was overlooking the lake, so you could spend a few minutes every morning just taking it all in. We also had tours all over, including to Caesarea Philippi (Mt 16:18), Nazareth, Magdala, Tabgha (the traditional site of the multiplication of the loaves and fishes and now with a wonderful Benedictine abbey), etc. The Holy Land is really a place of great grace, coming face to face with the reality of the Lord. It's a real sign of the basic truth of our faith: it's all about Him, and He's what counts. Speaking of which, I'd better run off to say my prayers.

1 Potentially stupid idea...

OK. I've just signed up to do an abseil down the BT Tower in Belfast in aid of Marie Curie Cancer Care. And before I had time to find out how tall the building actually is and chicken out, I set up a fundraising page for people to donate online. So in other words I'm committed. Or maybe I should BE committed... Hmmm...

Anyway. While you're over there sponsoring me (hint, hint) be sure to check out the cheesy photo of me! I don't think I'll be grinning quite as much closer to the time...

3 Liturgical Anonymous

I don't know if any of you read the Curt Jester's blog... If you don't, you really should, it's hilarious! Anyway, I came across this on my travels, which really did make me 'LOL'... I've posted some parts of it below, but visit the site to read the whole thing.

Over the last century many support groups have arisen for substance abuse, alcohol abuse, and other addictions. But until now one much needed organization was missing. What about liturgiholics who abuse the liturgy? People drunk on power to change the liturgy in their parishes to their own visions divorced from liturgical history have had nowhere to turn to. That is until now.

Introducing Liturgical Anonymous (LA) an international, spiritually oriented community of liturgical abusers who meet in local groups to help each other end this destructive addiction to changing the liturgy as one wants. Liturgical Anonymous follows a 12 step program and not one of the steps are a dance step.

Once a liturgical change addict admits they have a problem they are ready for Liturgical Anonymous. My name is [Insert Name Here] and I am a liturgical abuser. Welcome you are on the road to recovery.

Many of our members also require help to throw off the vapidness of most modern liturgical music. Most find that a too rapid introduction to Gregorian Chant for instance is too much beauty to handle so quickly. Thus are program slowly weans them off of the music of Haugen-Daas with a drug equivalent of music Methadone. This drug with a high sugar content is slowly reduced over time to allow a tonal rearrangement in the subject. For priests we have a special program called "Seeing Red: Rubrics are your friends." With liturgical dancers we helped to teach them that the only acceptable dance at Mass is attendance.

Our headquarters for Liturgical Anonymous has a 24 hour hotline staffed by liturgical counselors. If you ever feel tempted to deviate from the norms give us a call and we will help you to overcome this temptation. Alcoholics can go cold turkey and avoid bars, but the liturgical abusers must learn to be attend the Mass with full, conscious and active prayerful participation without thinking how they would have done it different or how they would have redesigned the sanctuary.

Here are just some of the testimonial of successful members of Liturgical Anonymous:

I'm John [Last name withheld] the former clown altar server. I served at many Masses especially in the seventies. I saw no problem with it at the time and even served with priests also dresses as a clown. In Persona Bozo presented no theological difficulties for me. I thought I was just bringing joy to the people, I mean what could be wrong with that?

There is no disgrace in facing up to the fact that you have a liturgical abuse problem. So why not join now before some parishioners stage an intervention.

Remember "Friends don't let friends abuse liturgy."

2 Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur

There was a post on DCF recently that reminded me of all the millions of Latin phrases I found a couple of years back... I had my Dominican friend (that's a Dominican priest, not someone from the Dominican Republic... Just in case any of you thought any different... ADRIAN!!!!) tortured with funny quotes I'd find online, and would regularly sneak one into my email signature at work to see how long it would take my boss (or our American colleagues) to notice it and comment on it... I used to have them all on my computer somewhere (WHICH computer is the problem!), but have no idea where they're at now. But I can still remember some of my favourites...

Si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes
(If you can read this, you're overeducated)

Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinus alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes!
(If you can read this sign, you can get a good job in the fast-paced, high-paying world of Latin!)

Vah! Denuone Latine loquebar? Me ineptum. Interdum modo elabitur
(Oh! Was I speaking Latin again? Silly me. Sometimes it just sort of slips out.)

Sola lingua bona est lingua mortua.
(The only good language is a dead language.)

Bene, cum Latine nescias, nolo manus meas in te maculare
(Well, if you don't understand plain Latin, I'm not going to dirty my hands on you)

Certe, toto, sentio nos in kansate non iam adesse )
(You know, Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore

Estne tibi forte magna feles fulva et planissima?
(Do you by chance happen to own a large, yellowish, very flat cat?)

Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum europe vincendarum
(Sometimes I get this urge to conquer large parts of Europe)

Mater tua criceta fuit, et pater tuo redoluit bacarum sambucus
(Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries)

Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant!
(May barbarians invade your personal space!)

si in animis habeatis scidam latrinariam in domo mea ponere, vosmet rogate si possitis velocius currere quam saxum quod vadit cum celeritate nonaginta milia passuum per horam
(If you’re thinking of putting toilet paper on my house, ask yourself if you can outrun a ninety-mile-an-hour rock.)

audite: modo de colosseo rationem interfectorum recentissimam cognovi- Leonibus triginta duo Chrisitanis nihil clepsydra addita ad spatium mortis subitae
(Listen: I just got the latest score from the Colosseum- Lions 32, Christians 0, in a sudden-death overtime!)

Of course, most of these can be found in Henry Beard's books...


And speaking of Latin, I was just commenting to Éamonn last week, how after 3 years of studying Latin at school, all I can remember is one of the first sentences from our first year text book, which was "Cornelia est puella Romana quae in Italia habitat..."

And speaking of Éamonn... (Hehe! This is where I get my own back...) At his invite, myself and my friend (who some of you DCF-ers would know as Norwegianblue) went down to Dublin last Friday for the Stations of the Cross and the Solemn Liturgy of Good Friday in St Audoen's Church, which was, by all accounts, really powerful stuff. The music was incredible, with Allegri's Miserere being a highlight for me... (You can read more about it on his blog)

Anyway. I had asked Éamonn, when getting directions to St Audoen's, "Is it possible to avoid the city centre?", seeing as I had this great phobia of driving in Dublin City Centre... To which I was told "Yes, just about." Not realising that this was a very precise truth, and St Audoen's was, oh, a whole QUARTER OF A MILE from Dublin City Centre (!!!), I therefore decided to drive! In hindsight of course, it was a very good call, as I probably would have not gone, and therefore missed the whole thing (plus as an added bonus, I'm not quite as terrified of driving down there now... but not quite ready for O'Connell Street just yet!)... But I have now learned that if I am ever going to ask Éamonn anything ever again, to listen very carefully to his response and not to leave anything open for interpretation!!!

Wow. This has actually been a proper post after all... That wasn't my intention... Hang on and I'll go back and delete it!

2 Which airline...

A guy sitting at Bar at Brussels Airport noticed a very beautiful woman sitting next to him. He thought to himself, "Wow, she's so gorgeous she must be a flight attendant. But which airline does she work for?

Hoping to pick her up, he leaned towards her and uttered the Delta slogan:
"Love to fly and it shows?"

She gave him a blank, confused stare and he immediately thought to himself,
"Okay, she doesn't work for Delta".

A moment later, another slogan popped into his head. He leaned towards her
again, "Something special in the air?"

She gave him the same confused look.

He mentally kicked himself, and scratched Singapore Airlines off the list.

Next he tried the Thai Airways slogan: "Smooth as Silk."

This time the woman turned on him "What the h*ll do you want?"

The man smiled, then slumped back in his chair, and said,
"Ahhhhh, Easy Jet!"