Semi serious post, for a change...

Well, Wednesday past was the first anniversary of my aunt's death. A strange old day, altogether... It's very hard to believe that it's been a whole year since Kathleen passed away -- in many ways it has been the fastest year EVER! Of course it's got me thinking of all the things that have happened in the last year... I'm in a very different place now from where I was 12 months ago... (although I've only moved 5 minutes round the corner, hehe!)

For starters, I'm almost 3 stone lighter, as I've managed to tackle some of the hangups I've had about my weight since, well, forever... Quit smoking, which I have been putting off doing forever... Then there's the swimming lessons, which have helped get rid of -- or at least lessen -- that phobia of water that hand been hanging around since, well, forever! As far as faith is concerned, a year ago, I don't think I'd even heard of the Tridentine Mass, let alone actually BEEN to one... let alone purchased the oh-so-wonderful "Baronius Missile", or even thought about driving in the not-quite-Dublin-city-centre... and, well, I could go on about some of the other wonderful things that have happened, but you get the point... ;-)

But over the last year, when things have happened, I've always felt a little sad that Kathleen wasn't here to see them - to see me fit into her really cool purple cords (which are now actually getting too big), or looking smashing at the Youth 2000 ball, wearing her jewellery and all dressed up and looking girly for a change, with not a baggy t-shirt in sight! (Though I do think she may have disapproved ever so slightly at my change of footwear halfway through the evening... from "nice girly heels" to much more comfy trainers... but hey, at least they matched the dress...) At the same time, I wonder would any of these things happened had Kathleen not died? She must be putting in a good word for me or something....

And how much has changed since this photo was taken of her with her little sister...

Many times throughout the last year I have had cause to think about one of the lines from one of the Prefaces for Lent... "You teach us to live in this passing world with our hearts set on the world that will never end..."

It also reminds me of a great prayer I have discovered recently, about Complete Trust in God...

Do not look forward to the changes and chances of this life with fear. Rather, look to them with full confidence that, as they arise, God to whom you belong will in His love enable you to profit by them. He has guided you thus far in life.

Do you but hold fast to His dear hand, and He will lead you safely through all trials. Whenever you cannot stand, He will carry you lovingly in His arms. Do not look forward to what may happen tomorrow. The same Eternal Father who takes care of you today will take care of you tomorrow, and every day of your life. Either He will shield you from suffering or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it.

Be at peace then, and put aside all useless thoughts, all vain dreads and all anxious imaginations.

~ Saint Francis de Sales