Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur

There was a post on DCF recently that reminded me of all the millions of Latin phrases I found a couple of years back... I had my Dominican friend (that's a Dominican priest, not someone from the Dominican Republic... Just in case any of you thought any different... ADRIAN!!!!) tortured with funny quotes I'd find online, and would regularly sneak one into my email signature at work to see how long it would take my boss (or our American colleagues) to notice it and comment on it... I used to have them all on my computer somewhere (WHICH computer is the problem!), but have no idea where they're at now. But I can still remember some of my favourites...

Si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes
(If you can read this, you're overeducated)

Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinus alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes!
(If you can read this sign, you can get a good job in the fast-paced, high-paying world of Latin!)

Vah! Denuone Latine loquebar? Me ineptum. Interdum modo elabitur
(Oh! Was I speaking Latin again? Silly me. Sometimes it just sort of slips out.)

Sola lingua bona est lingua mortua.
(The only good language is a dead language.)

Bene, cum Latine nescias, nolo manus meas in te maculare
(Well, if you don't understand plain Latin, I'm not going to dirty my hands on you)

Certe, toto, sentio nos in kansate non iam adesse )
(You know, Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore

Estne tibi forte magna feles fulva et planissima?
(Do you by chance happen to own a large, yellowish, very flat cat?)

Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum europe vincendarum
(Sometimes I get this urge to conquer large parts of Europe)

Mater tua criceta fuit, et pater tuo redoluit bacarum sambucus
(Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries)

Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant!
(May barbarians invade your personal space!)

si in animis habeatis scidam latrinariam in domo mea ponere, vosmet rogate si possitis velocius currere quam saxum quod vadit cum celeritate nonaginta milia passuum per horam
(If you’re thinking of putting toilet paper on my house, ask yourself if you can outrun a ninety-mile-an-hour rock.)

audite: modo de colosseo rationem interfectorum recentissimam cognovi- Leonibus triginta duo Chrisitanis nihil clepsydra addita ad spatium mortis subitae
(Listen: I just got the latest score from the Colosseum- Lions 32, Christians 0, in a sudden-death overtime!)

Of course, most of these can be found in Henry Beard's books...


And speaking of Latin, I was just commenting to Éamonn last week, how after 3 years of studying Latin at school, all I can remember is one of the first sentences from our first year text book, which was "Cornelia est puella Romana quae in Italia habitat..."

And speaking of Éamonn... (Hehe! This is where I get my own back...) At his invite, myself and my friend (who some of you DCF-ers would know as Norwegianblue) went down to Dublin last Friday for the Stations of the Cross and the Solemn Liturgy of Good Friday in St Audoen's Church, which was, by all accounts, really powerful stuff. The music was incredible, with Allegri's Miserere being a highlight for me... (You can read more about it on his blog)

Anyway. I had asked Éamonn, when getting directions to St Audoen's, "Is it possible to avoid the city centre?", seeing as I had this great phobia of driving in Dublin City Centre... To which I was told "Yes, just about." Not realising that this was a very precise truth, and St Audoen's was, oh, a whole QUARTER OF A MILE from Dublin City Centre (!!!), I therefore decided to drive! In hindsight of course, it was a very good call, as I probably would have not gone, and therefore missed the whole thing (plus as an added bonus, I'm not quite as terrified of driving down there now... but not quite ready for O'Connell Street just yet!)... But I have now learned that if I am ever going to ask Éamonn anything ever again, to listen very carefully to his response and not to leave anything open for interpretation!!!

Wow. This has actually been a proper post after all... That wasn't my intention... Hang on and I'll go back and delete it!