2 Requiescat in pace

Please join me in offering up a little prayer today for the repose of the soul of my cousin Ohdrán on what would have been his 18th birthday. Sadly, he died on 12th November in a car accident.

Requiem æternam dona ei Domine; et lux perpetua luceat ei. Requiescat in pace. Amen.

1 Happy Christmas

Catholic Analysis has a great post today, which I think it would do no harm to remember...

The Revolutionary Facts

Here they are:

1. Conceived into scandalous circumstances which placed his mother in deep suspicion;

2. The foster father and expectant mother needing to travel a long distance in obedience to foreign oppressors requiring a census;

3. Desperate for overnight accommodations and happily settling for a place reserved for animals;

4. Sharing the joy of His birth with lowly rural workers and exotic foreigners traveling from far away who also had to dodge the power-mad local political boss.

The lesson: don't let your circumstances determine your destiny. Trust in Him. He went through the worst and conquered. He can conquer your circumstances, too. And, in the midst of objectively bad circumstances, you do get consolation and direction as they did: angels and good people appeared, and the Lord protected and guided them every step of the way.

We need to retell the same historical facts but try to see them afresh so that their revolutionary aspect comes back into focus because these facts are the only ones that have ever really turned the world upside down and so are the only events really able to rescue each of us. There has never been a story that can compare with this one, and we are still talking about it today. And, yes, let's put our useless pride in our back pocket and admit that each of us needs to be rescued. The rescue is at hand. This is the real bail-out.

Wishing you and yours a very happy and holy Christmas.

1 If the Catholic Church was a programming language...

I just read this post on the Curt Jester on the question "What if the Catholic Church was a programming language?" After listing off a few others from a list he read (comparing C to Judaism, Java to Fundamendalist Christianity, C# to Mormonism, etc), here is what he has to say:

Now what would we call a programming language similar to the Catholic Church? How about C†† (pronounced C Cross Cross). Like St. Paul the Church teaches Christ crucified and the cross is never missing from our lives. The C of course stands for Catholic and the universal binary that the code produces. The universal binary is of course accessible by all operating systems. Though while we see the good that is common to many programming languages we hope that all will come to accept the fullness of C††. As programmers we don't want to be triumphalists, but to help to spread the good code to every nation.

The basics of the language C†† would be fixed. Though interfaces can be later added on that help to access the underlying language. The code structures would be based both on apostolic programming tradition and the reference book. The compiler also known as the magisterium would rely on the CDF (Coding for the Doctrine of the Flow) to ensure wayward code was corrected and brought back into fullness of the code specification. When bad code is detected the compiler would throw an anathema.

C†† would certainly be strongly typed. An object created yesterday or even a thousand years ago would remain exactly the same object today. Though this does not mean that we can not understand an object more deeply over time, only that an integer value will not become a string just because it is currently fashionable in the culture for this to be true. What is set to a state of true today remains true tomorrow. For example this is how you would set a true and a false value in C††.

boolean item = dogma;
boolean item2 = heresy;

Other keywords include Fashion (which can hold any value, but is not used for anything serious), Absolute (which holds one constant value that never changes), Discipline value can change over time based on a prudential decision), Hierarchy (An ordered data structure).

Multiple coding styles known as rites can be used to write the code. These rites though will all compile to exactly the same code whether using an Eastern or Western style. Some traditional programmers prefer to only program in Latin, but you can choose a vernacular language as long as you don't use and edition approved by ICEL in the seventies which does not give the full nuances of the keywords.

The reference for C†† would be maintained by the Vaticode. The head programmer/maintainer at the Vaticode is called His Geekiness and he has final say on the language definition and its interpretation. The Vicar of Code is infallible only when speaking on code and compilers. The Nerds in union with His Geekiness are the authentic teachers of the language. New definitions can be added to the language that conform to the reference and apostolic programmers. Sometimes a movement among programmers (geekus fidelum) can lead to the Vaticode adding a new definition.

Here is a sample "Hello World" program in C††

After all "Let there be light" was the original Hello World program by the Divine Programmer. Every C†† requires a "faith" method which is the main entry point to the program. Remember faith() without works() and your code is dead.

If only there was a programming language like the Catholic Church. Right now there are so many denominations of programming languages that keep splitting. Like C+ going into schism from C and then C++ going into schism from C+. I pray that there be but one language.

Nip on over to the Curt Jester to read the rest of the post, as the whole thing is well worth a read!

0 St Maria Goretti, Pray For Us!

Today, in the Traditional Calendar, it is the feast day of one of my favourite saints, St Maria Goretti. She was born on 16th October 1890 and died on 6th July 1902 and is the patron saint of children, rape victims, young people, loss of parents, against poverty and World Youth Day.

From SQPN:

Beautiful, pious farm girl, one of six children of Luigi Goretti and Assunta Carlini. In 1896 the family moved to Ferriere di Conca. Soon after, Maria's father died of malaria, and the family was forced to move onto the Serenelli farm to survive.

In 1902 at age twelve, Maria was attacked by 19-year-old farm-hand Alessandro Serenelli. He tried to rape the girl who fought, yelled that it was a sin, and that he would go to hell. He tried to choke her into submission, then stabbed her fourteen times. She survived in hospital for two days, forgave her attacker, asked God's forgiveness of him, and died holding a crucifix and medal of Our Lady. Counted as a martyr.

While in prison for his crime, Allessandro had a vision of Maria. He saw a garden where a young girl, dressed in white, gathered lilies. She smiled, came near him, and encouraged him to accept an armful of the lilies. As he took them, each lily transformed into a still white flame. Maria then disappeared. This vision of Maria led to Alessandro's conversion, and he later testified at her cause for beatification.

She was one of the first saints I had ever heard of, as my mother's second name(s) is/are Maria Goretti. Of course, as a child, I always thought it a bit weird that she was called "Mary McGrady"... ;-)

Saint Maria Goretti, strengthened by God's grace, you did not hesitate, even at the age of eleven, to sacrifice life itself to defend your virginal purity. Look graciously on the unhappy human race that has strayed far from the path of eternal salvation. Teach us all, and especially our youth, the courage and promptness that will help us avoid anything that could offend Jesus. Obtain for me a great horror of sin, so that I may live a holy life on earth and win eternal glory in heaven. Amen.

Maria Goretti/"Mary McGrady", pray for us!

0 Papa Ben's Novus Ordo 2.0

Everybody is linking to it (or so it seems), but I couldn't resist doing the same!

The Creative Minority Report has a great post on 'Marketing the "New" New Mass'... complete with a wonderful illustration! :-)

1 Requiem æternam dona eis, Domine...

... et lux perpetua luceat eis.
Requiescant in pace. Amen.

I was very shocked and saddened to hear of the death of Professor Thomas A. F. Kelly. Please pray for the happy repose of his soul and also for his wife, mother, friends and family, for comfort in this time of grief.

4 Miserere Mei, Deus...

I spotted this posted on a couple of other blogs this morning, and, as our Lenten journey begins this year, I thought it only fitting that I should post it here also.





Here is Wikipedia's entry on the background of Allegri's Miserere (Psalm 51), along with the text and translation.

I absolutely love this. I first heard it on an album I had on my iPod that I took to listening to at 3 in the morning when our neighbours were having parties and playing really rubbish music and, just in general, keeping me awake when I had to go to work the next morning... I found that by the end of the first track or two, I was able to go back to sleep... It was like falling asleep surrounded by angels. :-) I've loved it even more since hearing the Lassus Scholars when in Dublin last year for the Solemn Liturgy of Good Friday -- something I hope to repeat this year, of course.

Anyway. I hope you all have a very blessed Lent. In the words of the Psalm... "Cor mundum crea in me, Deus: et spiritum rectum innova in visceribus meis."

"Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me."

1 Blog Blessing Award

I got a Blog Blessing Award from Dana.... Thanks, Dana! :-) Here is the blessing that Dana bestowed upon me...

You can go here to read about the blogging blessings that were started by Deb at Ukok.

The idea… it’s a game of tag with a difference, rather than looking inwardly, we look outside ourselves and bless, praise and pray for 3 blog friend. By participating in this endeavour we not only make the recipient of the blessing feel valued and appreciated, but we are having some fun too. We’re going to see how far the bloggin’ blessings can travel around the world and how many people can be blessed! Recipients of a bloggin’ blessing may upload the above image to their sidebar if they choose to. If you recieve a bloggin’ blessin’ please leave a comment on this thread here so that we can rejoice in just how many blessings have been sent around the world!


I want to bless the following bloggers:


1: Éamonn from Peregrinus Hibernensis

Éamonn has been an incredible blessing to me throughout this last year and has made me the happiest and most blessed girl on the face of the planet... So, naturally I want to bless him!! I might do something a bit more concrete than posting it on my blog though... Oh, if I could only think of what to do... ;-)


2: Dana from Umm, where am I?
(It doesn't say you can't bless the person who blessed you!!)

Dana has been amazing over the last couple of years and has been a wonderful support through my aunt's death and all sorts of other trials. She's always been at the other end of an email, or rather, a "PM" on DCF, with advice, prayers, laughs, hugs... just whatever is needed at that time! And she does happen to have two of the cutest children I've ever seen in my life...


3: Margreet from Margreat's Blog

Margreet is one of my dearest friends, and I want to bless her because:
(a) she's been a huge blessing to me over the last few years,
(b) she's had a rough year and I think she could certainly do with the blessing!! and
(c) it's an excuse to see her update her blog!!!
Seriously though, I consider Margreet to be one of my "nearest and dearest", and I still haven't quite gotten over the fact that she isn't as near as she used to be, now that she's not in Belfast anymore. :-( This girl is one of the few individuals out there who really has the knack of making me quite literally "LOL" when I'm really down. She's had her fair share of practice, in all fairness! ;-)


A prayer for Éamonn, Dana and Margreet...

Lord I thank You for all You give to me. I especially thank You for the friendship I receive from Éamonn, Dana and Margreet. I pray Your blessing on all of them everyday. Grant them strength, peace and joy. For they let You bless me with these things through them every day.

GLORIA Patri, et Filio, et Spiritui Sancto. Sicut erat in principio, et nunc, et semper, et in saecula saeculorum. Amen.

1 Smells & Bells!

I spotted this over on Fr Z's blog... who in turn got it from The Roman Sacristan!

"Smells & Bells"

(to the tune of "Jingle Bells")

Processing into church
It’s the TLM today
Doing liturgy right
Chanting all the way (Glo-ri-a!)
Bells at the sanctus ring
Raising our spirits high
Oh how great to have Mass and tradition back in line!

Smells & Bells
Smells & Bells
Liberals cough and fuss
Oh what fun it is to serve in cassock and surplice
Smells & Bells
Smells & Bells
Hippies start to fume
Thanks to the 16th Benedict for Summorum Pontificum!

1 The rejected mysteries

I spotted this over on the Shrine of the Holy Whapping...

ROME (HWTN News)--One of the Shrine's moles at the Vatican recently leaked to me a truly extraordinary document from the Congregation for Divine Worship, which indicates that in the lead-up to the unveiling of the Luminous Mysteries towards the end of Pope John Paul II's reign, the CDW's Consumer Rights section beta-tested a number of alternatives to the Pope's proposal. This in itself should be no surprise; the mysteries of the Rosary, along with the stations of the Cross, have historically been rather fluid in content and in number, while the CDW's careful supervision of new Vatican products is well-known after the massive recall of the '04 cherry-flavored "Hieroymus Bosch Blend" incense after the main stock had been secretly adulterated with hallucinogens as a protest by an anarcho-syndicalist guerilla theater group.*

Experts remark that the Luminous Mysteries won out with good reason. But it's still fascinating to see what might have been and why it got rejected. One set, the Parabolic Mysteries, was thought to sound too mathematical, though it dealt with Christ's various parables, some of which themselves proved to be problematic. The Mystery of the Parable of the 99 Sheep and the 1 Lost unfortunately put most test-subjects to sleep given Fr. Cantalamessa's suggestion they pray by counting each one, while the Mystery of the Divine Childhood, based on various apocryphal accounts of Christ's early years featuring Jesus smiting playground bullies and the like, made, in the words of one, "Our Lord seem a bit too much like Damien from The Omen." Researchers soon afterwards discovered the proposed Mystery of the Blue Carbuncle came not from sacred history but the Sherlock Holmes canon, and the whole section on the Father Brown Mysteries seems to have been a long and involved joke on the part of the compiler of the report.

Some mysteries also seemed, like the 99 Sheep, a bit too dull. Take for instance, the proposed Tedious Mysteries: 1: the Child Jesus stars in His School's Hannukah Pageant; 2: The Child Jesus is asked by Mary to take out the Garbage and Doesn't Complain, 3: Joseph hits his thumb with a hammer but does not say his golf words despite a furious desire to do so, 4: Our teenaged Lord suffers silently as Our Lady and St. Joseph show His friends all those embarassing baby pictures and 5: the Child Jesus is teased by playground bullies for being dressed like the Infant of Prague. The problem here is when you are dealing with a family in which the baby is God, the mom is sinless and the dad may well have never committed a sin of his own accord, there isn't too much drama to work with, barring the introduction of a Jewish Eddie Haskell character, and no such archetype appears in the Protoevangelium of James.

Now, if you must excuse me, it's Thursday and we all know that means it's time for a recitation of the Fourth Glutinous Mystery: Our Lord Feeds the 5,000 with Kosher Cinnabons.

*Supposedly Cardinal Arinze knew something was wrong when he attended a solemn high mass where the Gospel, solemnly intoned, began, "In illo tempore, dicite Iesus, Viiiiiiiiiirrrrr..." (Literally: At that time Jesus said: Duuuuuuuuude.")

Thanks to Dawn Eden for providing the idea!

29 Need Motivated?

I just discovered (by the way, it's a bad idea to discover things when you're busy with work...) this site that allows you to make your own motivational posters... I must play about with it sometime when I get a chance. However, here are a few I found out there in the blogsphere that I thought I'd share...













Ah well. It kept me entertained when waiting for a new software build...

0 National Airline for the Holy See...

From Cacciaguida!

A national airline for the Holy See...

TANTUM AIR-GO

"Ultramontane" was never like this!

* three cabins: first, business, and preferential option
* all seats in first class are The Comfy Chair
* unjust stewardesses
* MP6 on every longhaul flight; MBJ23 in first class
* airport lounge for our Golden Chalice members
* currency exchange: pray for the conversion of your money
* free headset and rosary
* your captain: Pontius Pilot (kidding!)
* connect to the "Passetto" at Fiumicino for quick ground transport into Vatican City
* direct flights from Boston and San Francisco
* first Catholic plane at Heathrow since Reformation
* service to China expected soon
* confessors available to help with your "baggage"
* emergency procedures include absolution
* Keep in mind that the nearest holy water font may be behind you.
* planes by Boeing; nobis quoque pick up Airibus
* Swiss Guards on every flight, halberds at the ready (we've never seen a hijacker who wanted to be the beheadee rather than the beheader)
* the one true airline!

Call Bonnie Voluntatis or Jenny Torre at EtCumSpirit 220.

6 Gloria Gloria Motu Proooooooo-prio!

Happy days... The Motu Proprio and accompanying letter have been released, at long last... :-)

Like the Curt Jester, I too found it just ever so slightly amusing that as yet, there is only the Latin translation for it up on the Vatican website, while the accompanying letter is available in several different languages. ;-)

Anyway...

Te Deum laudamus: te Dominum confitemur.
Te aeternum Patrem omnis terra veneratur.
Tibi omnes Angeli; tibi caeli et universae Potestates;
Tibi Cherubim et Seraphim incessabili voce proclamant:
Sanctus, Sanctus, Sanctus, Dominus Deus Sabaoth.
Pleni sunt caeli et terra maiestatis gloriae tuae.
Te gloriosus Apostolorum chorus,
Te Prophetarum laudabilis numerus,
Te Martyrum candidatus laudat exercitus.
Te per orbem terrarum sancta confitetur Ecclesia,
Patrem immensae maiestatis:
Venerandum tuum verum et unicum Filium;
Sanctum quoque Paraclitum Spiritum.
Tu Rex gloriae, Christe.
Tu Patris sempiternus es Filius.
Tu ad liberandum suscepturus hominem, non horruisti Virginis uterum.
Tu, devicto mortis aculeo, aperuisti credentibus regna caelorum.
Tu ad dexteram Dei sedes, in gloria Patris.
Iudex crederis esse venturus.
Te ergo quaesumus, tuis famulis subveni: quos pretioso sanguine redemisti.
Aeterna fac cum sanctis tuis in gloria numerari.

V. Salvum fac populum tuum, Domine, et benedic hereditati tuae.
R. Et rege eos, et extolle illos usque in aeternum.

V. Per singulos dies benedicimus te.
R. Et laudamus nomen tuum in saeculum, et in saeculum saeculi.

V. Dignare, Domine, die isto sine peccato nos custodire.
R. Miserere nostri, Domine, miserere nostri.

V. Fiat misericordia tua, Domine, super nos, quemadmodum speravimus in te.
R. In te, Domine, speravi: non confundar in aeternum.


P.S. There's a wee celebration going on over on YouTube, if you wanna go see!!!

11 Bork bork bork

In order to congratulate Joakim on becoming a Catholic, I was going to make banana(nanana) split, or some cake, or even some "chocolate moose"... But seeing as I can't cook to save my life, I thought I'd settle for some coffee...



Congratulations, Joakim!

3 Okay, so, apparently I'm Catholic...

... Didn't see THAT one coming....!

~~~~~

You scored as Roman Catholic, You are Roman Catholic. Church tradition and ecclesial authority are hugely important, and the most important part of worship for you is mass. As the Mother of God, Mary is important in your theology, and as the communion of saints includes the living and the dead, you can also ask the saints to intercede for you. Roman Catholic 100% Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 75% Neo orthodox 71% Emergent/Postmodern 57% Classical Liberal 39% Charismatic/Pentecostal 29% Modern Liberal 25% Reformed Evangelical 21% Fundamentalist 18% What's your theological worldview? created with QuizFarm.com

0 Caption Contest!

Spotted this on another blog and thought it was rather good....



As for captions, my personal favourites are:

"I once consecrated a Host thiiis big..."

"The…....hills are aliiiiiiive….. "

"He's gott da whole vorld in hiss hands.... he's gott da whole vorld in his haaands....."

... and let's not forget...



"A-le-ehhhhh-ehhy-loo-oooh-oooooh-ia!" (think Easter week...)




Any more to add?? Leave a wee comment.... :o)

4 T-shirts I really must buy...

Spotted a couple of t-shirts that I really am going to have to invest in...




And then my new personal favourite (despite the spelling mistake, hehe)....



These, and a whole bunch of others can be found over in Cafe Press...

2 Easter in Jerusalem

A friend of mine, Fr T, is currently out in Jerusalem. He sent some of us this email today, describing his experiences.

Dear all,
In the absence of photos, I decided to send around a bit of circular letter here to let people know what things are like in Israel at Easter. Two of my friends, after their visit to the Holy Land in September 2005, said that the great challenge would be to not talk about it too much. So, here goes the challenge.

Easter here begins with Palm Sunday and all the Christian (i.e. Catholic) groups in the city gather in Bethphage. The geography of the city is basically that the Old City is up on the hill and next to it, facing the old Temple Mount (now the Dome of the Rock mosque) is the Kedron Valley (Jn 18:1 Remember that all hills, by definition, need valleys). Across the Kedron valley is the Mount of Olives and at the top of the Mount of Olives, just over the top of the hill is Bethphage (Mt 21:1).

The procession begins just in front of the Franciscan parish church. The Franciscans, custodians of the Catholic Holy Places in Israel, do a superb job and one thing they have done is construct apartments on the grounds of their church in Bethphage to try and encourage the dwindling Christian population to stay here, despite the difficulties of life between their Muslim neighbours and Jewish state. One of the great things about Palm Sunday is that it gives the native Christians here a day out to show off their identity with pride. Some of them come down from Galilee and some from Egypt for the day.

Exactly as for the entrance of Jesus nearly 2000 years ago, the Palm Sunday procession is still politically charged. Still, each group has brought their music and their guitars and there is a great procession of music and dancing and the biggest palms I ever did see, all the way up again to the top of the Mount of Olives and then down the route that Jesus would have taken the other side, with the Holy City facing you. The Muslims even stood by the roadside, not joining in but enjoying the party atmosphere. Then up in through the Lion Gate to the church of St. Anne, built by the Crusaders next to the "sheep pool" where Jesus cured the cripple in Jn 5. There the Patriarch, Michael Sabbah, gave the address in Arabic and English, appealing to the Palestinian Christians to love their enemies and challenge the oppressor precisely by responding with love. In the context of life here it was quite a powerful speech. Then there was a bit more dancing and then we took off to the Christian Quarter of the Old City (knocking down a dress hanging outside a shop on the way with my palm branch) to see the parade in through the city gate, with the big banner of "Jesus is Alive" or something like that on it. Scouts of French inspiration, playing Scottish bagpipes: very Palestinian!

On Holy Thursday morning a few of us went over to the Upper Room and spent a bit of silent time there reading the account of what was to take place there that evening; after the Mass of the Holy Supper here in the Dominicans, we headed down to Gethsemane, at the foot of the Mount of Olives, and sat in the garden there for a bit of silent prayer while the basilica was packed with people listening to the Passion being read in five or six different languages. Then, about 10.30, we made our way along the path from there that Jesus would have been taken after his arrest, up the Kedron Valley and then up the hill into the city, to the church of St. Peter in Gallicantu (the traditional site of the High Priest's palace, though archaeologists are quite sure now where the real site was, about 200 yards up the hill from it). The path is the same as it would have been for Jesus, but the paving stones are about 200 years after. The top of the path was lit with candles: really beautiful. Of course, it was full of people from all over who had come to meditate on what took place there that Thursday night when Jesus was arrested and hauled up those steps.

On Good Friday morning the smart people got up early and did the Via Crucis at 6 O'clock. Sorry folks, i was too tired after the night before (getting old), so joined a group at 9.30. Unfortunately, so did every other pilgrim. We got to the 2nd station and then had to turn around because of the crowd and invent our own "Via Crucis". For all that, we ended up some 40 metres from Golgotha by 11.30: right place, right time, wrong year. It can make you dizzy to come face to face with the time and place of the crucifixion of the Lord in a way like that. As my friend said, the danger is to speak too much.

Good Friday evening had the most beautiful ceremony, in my opinion. We went to the Holy Sepulchre basilica, which covers both the place of Golgotha and the tomb. The place where Jesus was crucified was originally a quarry, just outside the city walls, disused about 100 years before the crucifixion. A quarry is useful waste ground for digging tobs in the rock: hence Jesus was buried in the same place as he died, almost (Jn 19:41). Of course, having been disused for 100 years it was somewhat overgrown also, hence its desciption as a garden (Jn 21:15). The 4th century basilica of the Holy Sepulchre covers both sites: truly a wonderful place. There was a procession with psalms and antiphons from the Franciscans' sacristy to Golgotha with a crucifix. On Golgotha they remove the nails and crown of thorns from the statue of Christ. Well, I thought it was just an ordinary statue, but when they removed the nails the arms drooped down by his side and they lowered "him" down just as they would have taken someone off the cross. Essentially it was a dramatic re-enaction of the taking down from the cross. I must say, I was struck to the bone by it. Then they took Jesus down the stairs to the anointing stone and anointed the "body" with perfume and spices and then, placing him in a linen shorud, processed on to the tomb and laid him there.Then they distributed the remained of the perfume and spices. It was a really moving ceremony to see it.

On the way home I visited the fifth station on the Via Crucis to thank God on behalf of a German friend who had wanted a prayer said for all the "Simon of Cyrene"s who had helped her in her life. That was a nice prayer to say.

On Saturday the Easter Vigil takes place in the morning: because the timetable between the different Christian denominations (i.e. Greeks, Latins (us) and Armenians) was set in the 1700s it couldn't be changed after the Easter Vigil was moved from morning to night in the 1950s. But...I didn't go. One vigil is enough. Instead I made an attempt to get to the Greek ceremony of the "Sacred Fire" where the Greek Patriarch goes into the tomb of Christ and emerges with fire out of "nowhere" which is then taken around Israel and even to Greece. However, the crowds were unpassable and we were rammed by a group of Russian priests (I joke you not). Then we ended up on the roof of the Holy Sepulchre, which was useless for anything, so off we went home.

In the evening we had the vigil here in St. Stephen's (St. Stephen was buried in the Dominican church until the first Muslim takeover, when his remains were brought to Rome for safety). The fire was the highlight, caught by big winds it was blown a metre in every direction, swinging around as people tried to light the candle from it: a great symbol of the Holy Spirit.

When the Vigil was ended we went off to the Holy Sepulchre again to celebrate with the Lord, reading the Gospel there and singing our Alleluias up and down the street. On Easter Sunday morning we went to the Franciscan church right next to the Upper Room (the Upper Room isn't a church anymore, so can't say Mass there) for a wonderful Easter Mass and then called into the Benedictines to hear the Gregorian chant hymn "Resurrexi" : I am risen and am with you again, Alleluia. You placed your hand on me, Alleluia. How wonderful is this knowledge of you, Alleluia.

It was really easy to feel the delight of the Lord in Jerusalem that day. Last week we went off to Galilee for an archaeological tour. Well, the Lord really chose a beautiful part of the world for his homeland, for sure. Even today it is full of forests and fields and animals and flowers. Our house, owned by the Emmanuel Community, was overlooking the lake, so you could spend a few minutes every morning just taking it all in. We also had tours all over, including to Caesarea Philippi (Mt 16:18), Nazareth, Magdala, Tabgha (the traditional site of the multiplication of the loaves and fishes and now with a wonderful Benedictine abbey), etc. The Holy Land is really a place of great grace, coming face to face with the reality of the Lord. It's a real sign of the basic truth of our faith: it's all about Him, and He's what counts. Speaking of which, I'd better run off to say my prayers.

3 Liturgical Anonymous

I don't know if any of you read the Curt Jester's blog... If you don't, you really should, it's hilarious! Anyway, I came across this on my travels, which really did make me 'LOL'... I've posted some parts of it below, but visit the site to read the whole thing.

Over the last century many support groups have arisen for substance abuse, alcohol abuse, and other addictions. But until now one much needed organization was missing. What about liturgiholics who abuse the liturgy? People drunk on power to change the liturgy in their parishes to their own visions divorced from liturgical history have had nowhere to turn to. That is until now.

Introducing Liturgical Anonymous (LA) an international, spiritually oriented community of liturgical abusers who meet in local groups to help each other end this destructive addiction to changing the liturgy as one wants. Liturgical Anonymous follows a 12 step program and not one of the steps are a dance step.

Once a liturgical change addict admits they have a problem they are ready for Liturgical Anonymous. My name is [Insert Name Here] and I am a liturgical abuser. Welcome you are on the road to recovery.

Many of our members also require help to throw off the vapidness of most modern liturgical music. Most find that a too rapid introduction to Gregorian Chant for instance is too much beauty to handle so quickly. Thus are program slowly weans them off of the music of Haugen-Daas with a drug equivalent of music Methadone. This drug with a high sugar content is slowly reduced over time to allow a tonal rearrangement in the subject. For priests we have a special program called "Seeing Red: Rubrics are your friends." With liturgical dancers we helped to teach them that the only acceptable dance at Mass is attendance.

Our headquarters for Liturgical Anonymous has a 24 hour hotline staffed by liturgical counselors. If you ever feel tempted to deviate from the norms give us a call and we will help you to overcome this temptation. Alcoholics can go cold turkey and avoid bars, but the liturgical abusers must learn to be attend the Mass with full, conscious and active prayerful participation without thinking how they would have done it different or how they would have redesigned the sanctuary.

Here are just some of the testimonial of successful members of Liturgical Anonymous:

I'm John [Last name withheld] the former clown altar server. I served at many Masses especially in the seventies. I saw no problem with it at the time and even served with priests also dresses as a clown. In Persona Bozo presented no theological difficulties for me. I thought I was just bringing joy to the people, I mean what could be wrong with that?

There is no disgrace in facing up to the fact that you have a liturgical abuse problem. So why not join now before some parishioners stage an intervention.

Remember "Friends don't let friends abuse liturgy."

2 Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur

There was a post on DCF recently that reminded me of all the millions of Latin phrases I found a couple of years back... I had my Dominican friend (that's a Dominican priest, not someone from the Dominican Republic... Just in case any of you thought any different... ADRIAN!!!!) tortured with funny quotes I'd find online, and would regularly sneak one into my email signature at work to see how long it would take my boss (or our American colleagues) to notice it and comment on it... I used to have them all on my computer somewhere (WHICH computer is the problem!), but have no idea where they're at now. But I can still remember some of my favourites...

Si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes
(If you can read this, you're overeducated)

Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinus alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes!
(If you can read this sign, you can get a good job in the fast-paced, high-paying world of Latin!)

Vah! Denuone Latine loquebar? Me ineptum. Interdum modo elabitur
(Oh! Was I speaking Latin again? Silly me. Sometimes it just sort of slips out.)

Sola lingua bona est lingua mortua.
(The only good language is a dead language.)

Bene, cum Latine nescias, nolo manus meas in te maculare
(Well, if you don't understand plain Latin, I'm not going to dirty my hands on you)

Certe, toto, sentio nos in kansate non iam adesse )
(You know, Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore

Estne tibi forte magna feles fulva et planissima?
(Do you by chance happen to own a large, yellowish, very flat cat?)

Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum europe vincendarum
(Sometimes I get this urge to conquer large parts of Europe)

Mater tua criceta fuit, et pater tuo redoluit bacarum sambucus
(Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries)

Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant!
(May barbarians invade your personal space!)

si in animis habeatis scidam latrinariam in domo mea ponere, vosmet rogate si possitis velocius currere quam saxum quod vadit cum celeritate nonaginta milia passuum per horam
(If you’re thinking of putting toilet paper on my house, ask yourself if you can outrun a ninety-mile-an-hour rock.)

audite: modo de colosseo rationem interfectorum recentissimam cognovi- Leonibus triginta duo Chrisitanis nihil clepsydra addita ad spatium mortis subitae
(Listen: I just got the latest score from the Colosseum- Lions 32, Christians 0, in a sudden-death overtime!)

Of course, most of these can be found in Henry Beard's books...


And speaking of Latin, I was just commenting to Éamonn last week, how after 3 years of studying Latin at school, all I can remember is one of the first sentences from our first year text book, which was "Cornelia est puella Romana quae in Italia habitat..."

And speaking of Éamonn... (Hehe! This is where I get my own back...) At his invite, myself and my friend (who some of you DCF-ers would know as Norwegianblue) went down to Dublin last Friday for the Stations of the Cross and the Solemn Liturgy of Good Friday in St Audoen's Church, which was, by all accounts, really powerful stuff. The music was incredible, with Allegri's Miserere being a highlight for me... (You can read more about it on his blog)

Anyway. I had asked Éamonn, when getting directions to St Audoen's, "Is it possible to avoid the city centre?", seeing as I had this great phobia of driving in Dublin City Centre... To which I was told "Yes, just about." Not realising that this was a very precise truth, and St Audoen's was, oh, a whole QUARTER OF A MILE from Dublin City Centre (!!!), I therefore decided to drive! In hindsight of course, it was a very good call, as I probably would have not gone, and therefore missed the whole thing (plus as an added bonus, I'm not quite as terrified of driving down there now... but not quite ready for O'Connell Street just yet!)... But I have now learned that if I am ever going to ask Éamonn anything ever again, to listen very carefully to his response and not to leave anything open for interpretation!!!

Wow. This has actually been a proper post after all... That wasn't my intention... Hang on and I'll go back and delete it!