3 Shicking

It has been over a year since I posted anything on my blog. Shicking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

It's been a busy year, summed up in three words:

Our daughter, Zoë!

1 Happy Christmas

Catholic Analysis has a great post today, which I think it would do no harm to remember...

The Revolutionary Facts

Here they are:

1. Conceived into scandalous circumstances which placed his mother in deep suspicion;

2. The foster father and expectant mother needing to travel a long distance in obedience to foreign oppressors requiring a census;

3. Desperate for overnight accommodations and happily settling for a place reserved for animals;

4. Sharing the joy of His birth with lowly rural workers and exotic foreigners traveling from far away who also had to dodge the power-mad local political boss.

The lesson: don't let your circumstances determine your destiny. Trust in Him. He went through the worst and conquered. He can conquer your circumstances, too. And, in the midst of objectively bad circumstances, you do get consolation and direction as they did: angels and good people appeared, and the Lord protected and guided them every step of the way.

We need to retell the same historical facts but try to see them afresh so that their revolutionary aspect comes back into focus because these facts are the only ones that have ever really turned the world upside down and so are the only events really able to rescue each of us. There has never been a story that can compare with this one, and we are still talking about it today. And, yes, let's put our useless pride in our back pocket and admit that each of us needs to be rescued. The rescue is at hand. This is the real bail-out.

Wishing you and yours a very happy and holy Christmas.

1 If the Catholic Church was a programming language...

I just read this post on the Curt Jester on the question "What if the Catholic Church was a programming language?" After listing off a few others from a list he read (comparing C to Judaism, Java to Fundamendalist Christianity, C# to Mormonism, etc), here is what he has to say:

Now what would we call a programming language similar to the Catholic Church? How about C†† (pronounced C Cross Cross). Like St. Paul the Church teaches Christ crucified and the cross is never missing from our lives. The C of course stands for Catholic and the universal binary that the code produces. The universal binary is of course accessible by all operating systems. Though while we see the good that is common to many programming languages we hope that all will come to accept the fullness of C††. As programmers we don't want to be triumphalists, but to help to spread the good code to every nation.

The basics of the language C†† would be fixed. Though interfaces can be later added on that help to access the underlying language. The code structures would be based both on apostolic programming tradition and the reference book. The compiler also known as the magisterium would rely on the CDF (Coding for the Doctrine of the Flow) to ensure wayward code was corrected and brought back into fullness of the code specification. When bad code is detected the compiler would throw an anathema.

C†† would certainly be strongly typed. An object created yesterday or even a thousand years ago would remain exactly the same object today. Though this does not mean that we can not understand an object more deeply over time, only that an integer value will not become a string just because it is currently fashionable in the culture for this to be true. What is set to a state of true today remains true tomorrow. For example this is how you would set a true and a false value in C††.

boolean item = dogma;
boolean item2 = heresy;

Other keywords include Fashion (which can hold any value, but is not used for anything serious), Absolute (which holds one constant value that never changes), Discipline value can change over time based on a prudential decision), Hierarchy (An ordered data structure).

Multiple coding styles known as rites can be used to write the code. These rites though will all compile to exactly the same code whether using an Eastern or Western style. Some traditional programmers prefer to only program in Latin, but you can choose a vernacular language as long as you don't use and edition approved by ICEL in the seventies which does not give the full nuances of the keywords.

The reference for C†† would be maintained by the Vaticode. The head programmer/maintainer at the Vaticode is called His Geekiness and he has final say on the language definition and its interpretation. The Vicar of Code is infallible only when speaking on code and compilers. The Nerds in union with His Geekiness are the authentic teachers of the language. New definitions can be added to the language that conform to the reference and apostolic programmers. Sometimes a movement among programmers (geekus fidelum) can lead to the Vaticode adding a new definition.

Here is a sample "Hello World" program in C††

After all "Let there be light" was the original Hello World program by the Divine Programmer. Every C†† requires a "faith" method which is the main entry point to the program. Remember faith() without works() and your code is dead.

If only there was a programming language like the Catholic Church. Right now there are so many denominations of programming languages that keep splitting. Like C+ going into schism from C and then C++ going into schism from C+. I pray that there be but one language.

Nip on over to the Curt Jester to read the rest of the post, as the whole thing is well worth a read!

4 We got married....

... 4 weeks and 1 day ago. :-)

3 Come Follow Me ;-)

Thanks to Therese at the Aussie Coffee Shop for bringing this to my attention... I never knew it, but there's a little Blogger widget that you can add to your blog to keep track of all the people who have signed up to be a follower on your blog. It's particularly handy as it automatically adds the blogs you are a follower of to a folder in Google Reader, which I use to keep track of news feeds for all sorts of websites.

Anyway, I've added it on the right hand side of my blog -- please do sign up to be a follower (you can do so publicly or anonymously) so I can see who is visiting... and can maybe start behaving myself a little better as a result! ;-)

4 I HATE RYANAIR!!!!!

There are very few things that make me want to scream, swear, kick things and just generally throw a hissy fit, but this is one of them....

How on EARTH could a return flight for two people, costing €0.99 for each flight (i.e. €0.99 x 4 = €3.96) end up costing €180.40?!?!?!?!?!?

Why can't the lying, thieving shower of [insert relevant expletive here] not just give it to you up front instead of springing it on you bit by bit?!?!

Okay. We decided to go away for a few days after our wedding, for a little break, as we're not planning on taking our honeymoon straight away. So we pick a destination and start looking for flights...

Firstly, when selecting the flights, you find out you're going to be charged €116.44 in "Taxes, Fees & Charges". Okay, so that's got us at €120.40. Still cheaper than the other "cheap" airline we checked out. (Oh, they were equally as sneaky - they were quoting us one figure the whole way through and then when it came to putting in your credit card details at the end, decided to inform you in really tiny writing (hoping to sneak it past you, no doubt) that that was only for ONE passenger, so in fact the total amount was TWICE that! ARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!)

Anyway. So I selected the flights and checked the wee box and hit continue. I put in our names. Of course the default options already selected are for you to take travel insurance (an extra €7.50 each... No thanks...) and to "Be one of the first to board this flight" for €10 each (HA! Have you ever gotten a Ryanair flight?!? Why would you want to spend an extra €10 just to get sitting down a few minutes earlier on one of their planes? It's not like you're going to get a special seat or special treatment or anything...) So I took those options off.

Of course, as we're going away for a few days, we can't exactly make do with just hand luggage, so we decided to check a bag in between the two of us. That's an extra €30 (€15 each way, I presume)... But get this! Because we're booking together, we have to check in at the same time and in the same way, right? And because you can't check in online (online check in is free, by the way -- but give them time! They will charge for that too!) when you're checking in a bag, that means that while one of us is charged €30 for the bag, the other of us is charged €10 for the wonderful pleasure of standing for ages and ages in a big long queue in order to check in at the airport!!! Oh joy!!! All I've ever wanted to do!!! (On that note, my housemate was recently directed to one queue at the airport in order to check in, where she - and loads of others - queued for an HOUR before being told that it was the wrong queue!)

By this stage in the proceedings, I'm feeling absolutely fed up. I don't even WANT to go away anymore. We're forking out every available penny we have on our wedding and now they've left a sour taste in my mouth. But at least that's it, right? The flights, taxes, fees, bag and airport check in (I'm still LIVID about that bit, grrr!)... We've now got two flights cosing us €160.40 and that's us good to go... right?

NO!!! OF COURSE NOT!!! Because in order to PAY for the flippin' things, we are charged another €5 per person per flight!!! I went through every single payment method and they are all the same. No matter whether you use your credit card, debit card, mastercard, library card, Dunnes Stores loyalty card... All the same. Another €20. Sigh.

So that's it. €3.96 has suddenly turned into €180.40. I'm waiting for an extra €10 to be slapped on for receiving an email confirmation of our booking...

Maybe we should look into self catering accommodation for when we're out there. After all, at this rate, cheap Lidl's beans and toast are about all we're going to be able to afford to eat! (I'm afraid that's probably all I'm good at cooking too, but that's a different story for a different day...)

GRRR!

1 It's at times like this...

... when you don't know whether to laugh or cry...

From the RTÉ News:

A New Zealand judge has ordered a name change for an embarrassed nine-year-old girl called 'Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii'.

The girl was so embarrassed that she had not revealed the name given by her parents to friends, who simply knew her as K.

Family court judge Rob Murfitt said in a judgement released today that oddball monikers created social hurdles as children grew up.

'She fears being mocked and teased and in that she has a greater level of insight than either of her parents,' he said of the girl.

The judge discovered New Zealand parents had given their children some other unusual names including Number 16 Bus Shelter and Midnight Chardonnay, both of which may relate to the conception of the child.

One child was named Violence and two pairs of twins were called Benson and Hedges and Fish and Chips. The children from another family were all named after six-cylinder Ford cars.

1 Marriage

0 St Maria Goretti, Pray For Us!

Today, in the Traditional Calendar, it is the feast day of one of my favourite saints, St Maria Goretti. She was born on 16th October 1890 and died on 6th July 1902 and is the patron saint of children, rape victims, young people, loss of parents, against poverty and World Youth Day.

From SQPN:

Beautiful, pious farm girl, one of six children of Luigi Goretti and Assunta Carlini. In 1896 the family moved to Ferriere di Conca. Soon after, Maria's father died of malaria, and the family was forced to move onto the Serenelli farm to survive.

In 1902 at age twelve, Maria was attacked by 19-year-old farm-hand Alessandro Serenelli. He tried to rape the girl who fought, yelled that it was a sin, and that he would go to hell. He tried to choke her into submission, then stabbed her fourteen times. She survived in hospital for two days, forgave her attacker, asked God's forgiveness of him, and died holding a crucifix and medal of Our Lady. Counted as a martyr.

While in prison for his crime, Allessandro had a vision of Maria. He saw a garden where a young girl, dressed in white, gathered lilies. She smiled, came near him, and encouraged him to accept an armful of the lilies. As he took them, each lily transformed into a still white flame. Maria then disappeared. This vision of Maria led to Alessandro's conversion, and he later testified at her cause for beatification.

She was one of the first saints I had ever heard of, as my mother's second name(s) is/are Maria Goretti. Of course, as a child, I always thought it a bit weird that she was called "Mary McGrady"... ;-)

Saint Maria Goretti, strengthened by God's grace, you did not hesitate, even at the age of eleven, to sacrifice life itself to defend your virginal purity. Look graciously on the unhappy human race that has strayed far from the path of eternal salvation. Teach us all, and especially our youth, the courage and promptness that will help us avoid anything that could offend Jesus. Obtain for me a great horror of sin, so that I may live a holy life on earth and win eternal glory in heaven. Amen.

Maria Goretti/"Mary McGrady", pray for us!

0 Papa Ben's Novus Ordo 2.0

Everybody is linking to it (or so it seems), but I couldn't resist doing the same!

The Creative Minority Report has a great post on 'Marketing the "New" New Mass'... complete with a wonderful illustration! :-)

3 Apparently....

... I haven't been updating my blog enough. I guess I better post something, then!

How about this? Talented people with too much time on their hands...

2 A very worthy cause!

Please read the following message from a dear friend of mine (also one of our bridesmaids!)... In a couple of weeks she is going to Thailand and needs to raise a further £800 before then.

As many of you know I am going to Thailand in 2 weeks for 6 weeks on a project organised by SERVE.

The project primarily involves teaching in a women's centre in Pattaya, S. Thailand.....this will be teaching women various trades and how to communicate in English with tourists to ensure successful employment etc... this ability to sell craft provides the women with an alternative to selling themselves!! In Thailand the main spirituality is Buddhism, hence a lot of the men are training as monks and so the job of providing an income falls on the women. As 95% of them are illiterate they are forced into prostitution in order to make ends meet.... SERVE strives to provide them with an alternative and helps them help themselves do so.

Other projects that I will be working on in Thailand include working at an AIDS orphanage and in an AIDS colony. Many people in Thailand are ignorant to AIDS and hence children are abandoned when they are born with it and nobody wants to work in the orphanage for "fear of contracting AIDS by contact"... hence most of the relief, maintenance etc of the orphanage is funded by SERVE projects.

The second part to this project, which I will be assisting on, is building relations between a community in North Thailand in which people within the community with AIDS have been alienated and segregated into a colony. This is a long term project reintegrating everyone into one society, educating the community and developing essential skills within the community.

Evidently, these projects require finance. There are 14 on my team and we have shared out the costs of the projects. I have been fundraising over the last few months, though I alone still require at least £800. I would really appreciate any sponsorship/ donations as raising £800 in two weeks is quite a task as you can probably guess. Obviously raising more than this would also mean providing more relief... though lets walk before we can run eh....

Anyway there is no pressure or obligation but I would be so grateful if you could help out.

If anyone is interested in sponsoring her, please let me know and I will forward on her details! Alternatively, you can donate via PayPal using the button below (no PayPal account is needed). Regardless, please keep her and her team's efforts in your prayers.

1 CV/Resume Blunders...

As I'm job hunting at the minute, I've been visiting several websites with information on CV's and interviews. On my travels, I came across this list of CV blunders that I thought I'd share! I never put any of these on my CV so hopefully I'll have better luck at finding employment than I imagine some of these people had...

• I am very detail-oreinted.
• My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable.
• Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!
• Enclosed is a ruff draft of my resume.
• It’s best for employers that I not work with people.
• Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.
• I am a quick leaner, dependable, and motivated.
• If this resume doesn’t blow your hat off, then please return it in the enclosed envelope.
• My fortune cookie said, “Your next interview will result in a job.” And I like your company in particular.
• I saw your ad on the information highway, and I came to a screeching halt.
• Insufficient writing skills, thought processes have slowed down some. If I am not one of the best, I will look for another opportunity.
• Please disregard the attached resume-it is terribly out of date.
• Seek challenges that test my mind and body, since the two are usually inseparable.
  Graduated in the top 66% of my class.
• Reason for leaving last job: The owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia. I prefer to elaborate privately.
• Previous experience: Self-employed-a fiasco.
• Exposure to German for two years, but many words are inappropriate for business.
• Experience: Watered, groomed, and fed the family dog for years.
• I am a rabid typist.
• I have a bachelorette degree in computers.
• Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory; effective management skills; and very good at math.
• Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.
• I worked as a Corporate Lesion.
• Reason for leaving last job: Pushed aside so the vice president’s girlfriend could steal my job.
• Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel.
• Objective: To have my skills and ethics challenged on a daily basis.
  Special skills: Thyping.
• My ruthlessness terrorized the competition and can sometimes offend.
• I can play well with others.
• Personal Goal: To hand-build a classic cottage from the ground up using my father-in-law.
• Objective: I want a base salary of $50-$60,000 dollars, not including bonus. And some decent benefits. Like a retirement plan, health insurance, personal or sick days.
• Experience: Provided correct answers to customers’ questions.
• Education: Graduated from predatory school with honors.
• Never been fired, although it could happen anytime now.
• I have happily been a “kept man” for the past 10 years.
• Have extensive experience in turkey manufactures as well as new product development and implementation.
• I am accustomed to speaking in front of all kinds of audiences. I make points as well as I can.
• Personal: Five children. Dog: Jasper. Cat: Morris. Gerbil: Binky.
• While in military, was instrumental in creation of a treat detection system.
• My compensation package at my last job included a base salary of $64,500 with excellent benefits including flextime. I am looking for a position in which I can work a more flexible schedule.
• Hire me and you won’t regret it-I am funny, cute, smart and creative… really.
• Referees available upon request.
• Previous rank: Senior instigator.
• I have recently sold my home and I now live in a large RV so I will be able to relocate quickly.
• Reason for leaving: They stopped paying me.
• Cover letter: Desire the chance to showcase my delightful personality, intelligence and superior judgment, which are so hard to find these days.
• Personal achievements: Successfully played “Chop Sticks” on a toy piano with my big toes.
• Objective: To obtain a position where I can make a difference, infecting others with my professionalism, enthusiasm and dedication.
• Strengths: Impersonal skills.
• Special interests: I like any projects that are fun.
• Please explain any breaks in your employment career: 15 minute coffee break while working at a home improvement store.
• Vocational plans: Sea World.

0 Kathleen, RIP

Please pray for the repose of the soul of Kathleen, whose 2nd anniversary is today. :-(



(I still love this photo best of all!)

6 And the winner is...

Éamonn!!!!

He predicted I would hit 1000 visitors sometime between 10am and midnight on 30th April... Which was only about 34 hours out (give or take)...

Not only did he guess the closest, but he also was my 1000th visitor! ("Fix!!", I hear you cry!) I guess I'll have to marry him then... (SHMILY...) :-D


However, another special mention must go to Therese, who came second in this wonderful competition... ;-)

2 Tagged!

I’ve been tagged by Carole over at A Light to the Nations...
So here goes…

1. The rules of the game get posted on the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about himself.
3. At the end of the post, the player tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they’ve been tagged and asking them to read their blog.

What I was doing ten years ago:
Studying/cramming for my A-levels!

Five things on my To-Do list today:
1. Leave my car in to be serviced
2. Talk to my wonderful fiancé on Skype
3. Follow up on a couple of emails
4. Go to the post office
5. Shorten my to-do list

Things I would do if I were a billionaire:
1. Pay off my debts
2. Give money to charities such as Marie Curie
3. Buy a house & car (nothing too fancy!)
4. Put some aside for family for the future
5. Probably crack up!

Three of my bad habits/qualities:
1. I’m not exactly the tidiest person in the world…
2. I tend to give in to self-pity too much
3. I tend to pick holes in things… Like, why does this question only require three answers instead of five?!

Five places I’ve lived:
1. Downpatrick
2. Dublin
3. West Belfast!
4. South Belfast!
5. East Belfast!

Five jobs I’ve had:
1. Software QA Engineer
2. Assistant Network Administrator
3. Data Entry person
4. Crew member/“lobby hostess” at McDonalds (urgh!)
5. Waitress

Five books I’ve recently read:
1. Jodi Picoult – Change of Heart (just started it)
2. The Princess Bride (just started it)
3. Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire (yes I really am reading 3 books simultaneously!)
4. Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light
5. Get Thee to a Punnery!

Five people or communities I’m going to tag:
Éamonn at Peregrinus Hibernensis (my lovely love!)
Therese at the Aussie Coffee Shop
Joakim at Catholic Ponderer
Dana at Lilder's blog
The Mom at Shoved to Them

1 Copying my dear fiancé...

... and posting some silly nonsense!!!

$5575.00

58% Geek

5 Not long now...

... until I reach 1,000 visitors to my blog! :-)

I just logged into Sitemeter and noticed I've had 926 visitors since I added it to my site about 8 months ago.

Soooo.... does anyone feel like a little competition? Predict when I will reach the 1,000 mark and the person with the closest guess will win a very special mention on my blog. Wow, what an incentive, eh?! ;-)

1 Statistical Information For The Easily Amused

What can I say...?! I'm easily amused!!! ;-)

3 Especially for Éamonn....

... my lovely spell-checking fiancé! ;-)

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin not sea

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar Wright
It shows me strait a weigh

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
It rare lea ever wrong

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My Chequer toed me sew